A few days ago, I saw a post on one of my favorite Instagram accounts @blacklovedoc. They are a “hub for couple and single looking to build community & conversations around healthy relationships” according to their Insta bio. I love going to their page and looking at the many beautiful black love post.
This week, they posted a concept from Twitter that was brought up by @saneevanee.
@saneevanee (Vanè) followed this tweet explaining because of an increase in divorce rates, marriage licenses should expire, and couples should have the option to not renew the license. She suggests the license should expire every 3 to 4 years and renewal cost between $40 - $90.
This is an interesting concept to introduce. I agree not all marriages work out and marriage has various meanings for different people. People and situations can change within 3 to 4 years. Instead of spending the average $30,000 and countless hours in court, it would save time and coin to decide not to renew the marriage license.
Many disagreed commenting marriage is a commitment with someone through the good and bad times as said in the vows, not a business. Someone stated that marriage is a business because the license is a piece of paper that allows you to files joint taxes, join bank account and other legal aspects like joining debt; and the commitment piece does not require a marriage license. Other brought up religious views, children and families, and other pros and cons of this concept.
The facts are divorce rates are not going up, but the number of millennials getting married is going down. According to an article in Good Housekeeping, divorce rates have decreased by 18% from 2008 to 2016. The number for the US divorce rate is about 32% (3.2 per 1000 people). The data shows that there is a decline in millennial marriage. We are choosing to wait longer to get married and become more established and stable, which is leading to fewer divorce risks and possibly rates as well.
I think that Vanè’s concept could work with some adjustments. I think this process should include couple counseling. For those choosing not to renew, the counseling would be like an exit interview. This counseling would consist of evaluating the decision not to renew, what are the plans moving forward, and options for additional individual therapy for any family members that need it.
For those deciding to renew their marriage, I think it would be beneficial to go to counseling every 3 to 4 years. As mentioned early, a lot can happen in 3 to 4 years. This would be an opportunity to voice concerns, needs you feel aren’t being fulfilled or working on any other issues. This would be a safe space to review the last 3 to 4 years to reflect on the good, the bad, and talk about goals for the next 3 to 4 years.
Whether you agree or disagree with me or Vanè, I think this concept is an interesting conversational topic to discuss with those who are single (like me), married, in relationships, engaged or divorced.
I would love to hear your opinion!!! Do you agree? Disagree? Want to add some adjustment of your own? Comment below and continue the conversation!!!
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