As many of you know, a couple of weeks ago I wrote a piece called "To All The Women Who Raised Me" This piece was a thank you to all women in my life who help make me into the talented and awesome women who writes for you today.
Since Father's Day is this weekend, I wanted to continue this trend of thanks to all the men in my life. However, there is a drastic difference. Every woman who has entered my life has been an inspiration and positively affected my life. Unfortunately, all the men in my life have not. This hard fact caused me to hesitate to write this piece because I want the same loving and positive energy the first piece. I realized that people affect your life – some negative and some positive – but those experiences shape you into whom you are. While all the men in my life have not positively affected me, I am still thankful they helped me become this fantastic person.
My parents got divorced when I was eight, and my relationship with my father became complicated and distant. This situation was very hurtful as a child, especially seeing how my uncles and godfather treated their daughters. They doted on them and built these beautiful relationships with them that I still admire. Even watching my older cousins like Rel, Joe, and Chauncey, who are all now fathers, build relationships with their daughters. It is beautiful, and I hope they never take that relationship for granted.
While my relationship with my father was complicated, I did not go without unconditional love from a positive male figure. I know that my father loves me unconditionally and had amazing uncles and godfather who loved me and helped whenever I needed anything. TO THIS DAY!
These men (uncles, cousins, etc.) have also shown me what black love looks like. The love they show to their beautiful black wives shows me what healthy and beautiful relationships look like. Inspiring! I have also seen what toxic traits look like in a partner and what to stray away from.
The complexity of my relationship with my father caused insecurities, self-doubt, and not knowing my worth. However, over the last few years, I have worked through these issues with professionals and talked with my dad about them, which was very therapeutic. Our relationship is still not perfect and has gone through phases of closeness and distance. While love is never lost, the relationship is not what I could or should be.
While the energy of this piece is not the same, I want the thanks to be just as genuine. I am very thankful to all the men who have given me love and support throughout my life. All of you that fixed my car or taught me how to fix things myself. All of you have offered me guidance and support. I want to say thank you, and I love you!!
Happy Father's Day to all the men in my life!!
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.