A few days ago, I saw a post on one of my favorite Instagram accounts @blacklovedoc. They are a “hub for couple and single looking to build community & conversations around healthy relationships” according to their Insta bio. I love going to their page and looking at the many beautiful black love post.
This week, they posted a concept from Twitter that was brought up by @saneevanee.
@saneevanee (Vanè) followed this tweet explaining because of an increase in divorce rates, marriage licenses should expire, and couples should have the option to not renew the license. She suggests the license should expire every 3 to 4 years and renewal cost between $40 - $90.
This is an interesting concept to introduce. I agree not all marriages work out and marriage has various meanings for different people. People and situations can change within 3 to 4 years. Instead of spending the average $30,000 and countless hours in court, it would save time and coin to decide not to renew the marriage license.
Many disagreed commenting marriage is a commitment with someone through the good and bad times as said in the vows, not a business. Someone stated that marriage is a business because the license is a piece of paper that allows you to files joint taxes, join bank account and other legal aspects like joining debt; and the commitment piece does not require a marriage license. Other brought up religious views, children and families, and other pros and cons of this concept.
The facts are divorce rates are not going up, but the number of millennials getting married is going down. According to an article in Good Housekeeping, divorce rates have decreased by 18% from 2008 to 2016. The number for the US divorce rate is about 32% (3.2 per 1000 people). The data shows that there is a decline in millennial marriage. We are choosing to wait longer to get married and become more established and stable, which is leading to fewer divorce risks and possibly rates as well.
I think that Vanè’s concept could work with some adjustments. I think this process should include couple counseling. For those choosing not to renew, the counseling would be like an exit interview. This counseling would consist of evaluating the decision not to renew, what are the plans moving forward, and options for additional individual therapy for any family members that need it.
For those deciding to renew their marriage, I think it would be beneficial to go to counseling every 3 to 4 years. As mentioned early, a lot can happen in 3 to 4 years. This would be an opportunity to voice concerns, needs you feel aren’t being fulfilled or working on any other issues. This would be a safe space to review the last 3 to 4 years to reflect on the good, the bad, and talk about goals for the next 3 to 4 years.
Whether you agree or disagree with me or Vanè, I think this concept is an interesting conversational topic to discuss with those who are single (like me), married, in relationships, engaged or divorced.
I would love to hear your opinion!!! Do you agree? Disagree? Want to add some adjustment of your own? Comment below and continue the conversation!!!
Over the last week, people have been getting very upset about their fairy tales.
I first noticed when it was reported that Malissa MacArthur was to be cast as Ursula in the Little Mermaid live-action remark. I was shocked to see how upset people were on Twitter that they did not cast a black person. In the animated movie, Ursula was a purple octopus woman and was inspired by a popular white drag queen named Divine. The real injustice is Ursula should have been played by a drag queen, but we all know Disney is not about to let that rock.
Honestly, if you think Ursula should be black because she was a loud plus size villainous woman; you need to check yourself as to why you associate that with black women.
The next outrage came when Halle Bailey was cast as Ariel. Apparently (according to racist white people), Ariel MUST be white because mermaids can't be black. These people should also remember THIS IS A FAIRY TALE and MERMAIDS ARE NOT REAL. This is a fictional story, and mermaids can be any color they want. Ursula was purple, and Triton was more orange than Trump. The racists have started a petition (which won’t do any good) to keep their favorite princess white. Also, one of Ariel’s sisters in the animated movies as indeed black.
I believe those people who are holding the idea of Ariel being a redhead can still have that. No one is taking the animated movie away from you. If you were a red-headed child and was mesmerized that a Disney princess was a magical mermaid with red hair like you; what does it hurt for you share that with a little black girl?
The last outrage that I have seen this week is over the new live-action Mulan movie trailer.
Honestly, I saw the trailer for the movie and thought it looked nice and was excited to see it. I was interested to see how the Asian community felt about the trailer. This is their culture, and legendary real-life story (unlike the whites and the little mermaid) and I wanted to make sure it did not offend them.
The trailer receives positive reviews from the Asian community that it would not include Mushu and Shang and possibly many of the musical numbers to focus on the original story of Hua Mulan, who takes her father’s place in the army disguised as a man.
People were upset about the removal of the characters and music from the live-action film because they feel this would mean that many of their favorite scenes from the animated movie won't be in the live-action remake and the story would be completely different.
This could be a GREAT thing. Disney has re-imaged many of the original fairy tales to create the animated ones you love so much. They clearly know what they are doing. If they want to keep the story of Hua Mulan authentic and create a dope ass feminist movie, then I am all for it.
I am excited to see the live-action remakes of the Disney animated classics. I have enjoyed all the previous ones I’ve seen. If the race of the characters is important to the story line or culture of the story, then we can petition and boycott if they mess it up. If not, get on Amazon and order the animated movie you love. No one is saying you can’t continue to love the original but let people of color enjoy these remakes. We deserve.
With the announcement of new live-action remake of Disney animated classics, many people were in their feeling about casting and re-imagining of the films. I share what that happened this week and my opinions this week. Enjoy.